I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
