No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I smell like Dick and happiness
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
