I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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