I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
