They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
