Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize