Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
