I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize