i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
