Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
