it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
