no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
