from now on my penis is your penis
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
