ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
