I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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