spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
