areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
