those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
