How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
