I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize