My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
