I need help removing her.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
