Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
