Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
