I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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