It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
