two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
