I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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