Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
