how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
