Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
