actually, I'm a sock model
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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