I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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