I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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