I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
