did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
