i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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