STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
