We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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