everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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