your thong is hanging out like whoa
The maid of honor just puked.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
