sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
