porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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