he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you had me at cake vodka
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
