What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
