I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
