We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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