Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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