There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
