I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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