I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
