Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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