Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
