I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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