Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
