ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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