i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
