how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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