We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
