You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
