who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
