if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
