stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
